The support ran out
weeks ago.
Your parents want
you “home”.
The people at your
congregation keep asking how your “vacation” is going.
Your team keeps
fighting.
You and God haven’t
spoken in days.
What do you do when
It seems the world has turned its back on you? What do you do when you have
only your sword and shield against the invisible armies pumped to end your life
at any second? What do you do when you can’t think of how to stay, but you can’t
bear to go?
I was in this
situation. I lived this reality six years ago. I was in a situation that was
wonderful and full of pain all at the same time. The months where you feel
isolated. You are eating beans, rice, and whatever moldy vegetables you can find
in the back of your cabinet. The days spent crying in bed.
Crying out to a God
who you can’t hear.
Crying out for
comfort.
Crying out for
guidance.
Just crying out for
a hug.
He hears you. Oh pilgrim, he hears you. You are
now wandering through a land that is not your own. You can count your
belongings on your right hand. You can count your supporters on the other. You
may be discouraged like you never thought possible.
He hears you.
He hears you when
you cry out in the night. So isolated because this language is not your own,
and you have trouble even trying to buy a cup of coffee. So alone because you
can’t seem to connect with the very people paired up to journey with you into
the barren land. So afraid because the book you hold in your hand isn’t giving
you the comfort and joy it once imparted.
He hears you.
He loves you, my
wonderful friend, He loves you more than you can imagine. Every day his heart
bleeds tears for your sorrow. He is trying to speak to you. He is sending his
message to You.
I love you dear
one. I hear you, and I see you.
So you wake up
every morning. You thank Him for small victories. The car started. The bus ran
on time. Your team prayed together. You hugged through the tears. You walk
forward. Your head held high with the knowledge of love. With the intention of
sharing, of loving, of giving, of serving, of praying, and of preaching. You
thank our Father for his grace,
and you keep going.
He hears you.
He loves you.
-Lydia Mulligan (Weatherly)
West Mains,
Scotland AIM 2005
