A plea from the heart of a lady back home

So, maybe you’ve been back home from the mission field for a long time. Maybe you just stepped off of the plane a few days ago. Or maybe, you’ve already moved on to a different field or town or country.

Whatever your current residency status, at some point or another, you certainly have visited your home congregation. And it certainly was difficult, at least to some degree.

Let me tell you about a conversation I had with a lady from my home congregation recently. The church I grew up attending is somewhat of an AIMer factory, and lots of ex-AIMers, even those who aren’t originally from my hometown, find themselves planted there. And yet, lots of ex-AIMers have found themselves back home, but are not planted there at all. The lady I was talking with expressed her pain over this. “I’m not saying I expect everyone to call our church home again – I’m not expecting anything from them at all, actually. I just want them to come and say hi at least. I want them to let me love them and hug their necks again, even if they’ve moved on to different things. I think we deserve that at least.”

This was really enlightening to me and got me thinking. I know not everyone has such an understanding home church, but I can bet you that there is at least someone back home who wants to try to understand, who wants to just hug you and remind you that you are loved. Maybe they won’t connect with every story you have to share. Maybe you won’t ever feel at home in such a big (or small) congregation, who sings so differently or is set up so differently or “isn’t as intimate” or “isn’t as involved.”

But you know what? If it weren’t for those people that we can be so quick to judge in our self-righteous "missionary" attitudes, we wouldn’t have had the chance to be a missionary in the first place. Really, we may not have even known Christ at all if it weren’t for those preachers, those youth ministers, those elders, those peers, those parents, those little old ladies that raised us and participated in our early Christian days.

It isn't wrong to move on to something different, whether that be a different city or even a house church or another congregation in your own hometown. But please, as this lady from my church said, at least give them the chance to love you. Give them the chance to hear how you appreciate them (and if you don’t appreciate them, maybe pray about that first). They’re not perfect, but I know you know, neither are we. And it shouldn’t be “us and them” in the first place because we're all one body. So please, let us stop giving missionaries a bad name and be humble enough to remember our roots and love one another.

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.” – Romans 12:10

Love,

Brettin White

Would you attend AIMAPALOOZA MALIBU?

Every year we hear Alumni tell us, "You should do an AIMAPALOOZA" at the Pepperdine Lectureships in May. Well, we've started listening to what you are saying.

We want to know, would you attend a West Coast Aimapalooza if it were Thursday evening during the Pepperdine Lectures? If so, let us know. We'd love to put one together! We could use your help!

Contact Chris Johnson, Jason Thornton, or Joe Tipps on Facebook if you'd like to be involved with Aimapalooza Malibu.

Go do!

I remember the first few days of AIM. I was astonished at the lack of sinful people around me. I considered leaving because I didn’t think I would ever be like them. I thought they would find me out for who I was, and soon. But when I thought of actually going home to explain why I quit to my supporters, that seemed even worse than staying. I mean, what was I going to say? Mr. Elder, it was terrible. I decided to quit because they were all so “holy.”

For the first few weeks, I only focused on not doing anything wrong. It was hard at first, but that AIM bubble helped me make it though some tough spots. After a few weeks I got better at it, and after a few months I was doing great - not the greatest AIMer ever at this point, but light years from where I was on that first day. Then I got to the field, and things were wonderful: I was teaching, preaching, getting involved in people’s lives, and I was even lucky enough to dunk a few. By the way, I’m the greatest baptizer in the world. Years of having a swimming pool in the back yard and 2 younger brothers will do wonders for your dunking arm.

Then I came home. Wow. Things were different. I was no longer the missionary. Once the dust settled, I had few responsibilities at church. People didn’t seem to be interested in what I had to say like they did in South Africa just because I was an American, go figure. I started to get bored with going to church. I started making excuses to myself about why I didn’t have time to evangelize, or study my bible, or even be kind to someone who needed it. I remembered what things were like before I left, and I tried to fit back into that routine because it felt safe. Before long reverse culture shock set in and I was just trying to make it through the day, just trying to make it through life, and hoping to make it through to eternity. It was terrible.

It didn’t hit me at the time, but, spiritually, I was moving backward. I was back to just trying to not do anything wrong again, and I had buried my talent. My reverse culture shock didn’t come from missing South Africa, like I thought at the time; it was from missing the lifestyle of sold out service for the Lord.

In the book If Only, Dr. Neal Roese describes the 2 kinds of regret. First is the regret of action, or the sins of commission. Second is the regret of inaction, or the sin of omission. I think we all struggle with this regret of inaction.

I don’t know what’s in your life exactly, but I’ve never done those terrible sins that you hear about. I’ve never committed murder, I’ve never committed adultery, and I’ve never stolen someone’s life savings. Yes, I have done things that I wish I hadn't done. But for me, my biggest regrets aren’t what I have done, but the things that I was too big of a coward to do. There would be something that I knew I needed to do, something the Lord had placed on my heart to get accomplished, but I wouldn’t do anything.

The church has been fixated on the sins of commission. We have these long lists of don’ts. Our attitude has been of spiritual maturity by subtraction. In other words, if I don’t do this list of sins for 20, 30, 40, 50 years then I will become spiritually mature.

Mark Batterson writes in his book, In a Pit With a Lion On a Snowy Day, that when you think about it, spiritual maturity should be by multiplication. Goodness is not the absence of badness. We can’t do enough nothings, we can’t subtract enough, and we certainly can’t just run away from sin in order to become spiritually mature. Our calling is much higher than to simply step away from what’s wrong. Yes, keeping sin at bay is part of it, but not all. You can do nothing wrong, and still do nothing right. Trying to live a life without sin while neglecting works of service is deadly to your soul.

The reason that ruler in Matthew 25 was so upset with the wicked servant for burying the talent is because that was the only sure fire way to accomplish absolutely nothing. When we bury our talent it’s no wonder Christianity is boring to us, and this lifestyle is not attractive to people watching us, because it’s just a list of things not to do. It doesn’t get the blood pumping.

To one extent or another we all know this to be true, maybe we just haven’t put it in words yet. Think about it. If you were at work and at the end of the day your boss came in and asked what you got done that day, if you said, "Nothing, not a thing. But I didn’t hurt the company either, so we’re good," what would he say? James says, "Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do."

We fill our days with things that in the grand scheme of life and eternity mean very little, and then we make excuses and say that we don’t have time to serve the Lord. But when we make the realization that acts of service to the Lord is one of the few things in the cosmos that does actually matter, we free ourselves from the lie that doing nothing wrong is enough. So the next time you think to yourself, I really should go talk to my brother about the gospel, or the next time God puts someone in your path to show kindness to, when you feel that blood pumping in your veins, GO DO IT. Look for those God-ordained opportunities in your life, and dig up your talent. Start changing your lifestyle back into that sold-out service for the Lord. That’s when the Lord will say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

Jeremy “Tigger” Vass

Who will go first?

"We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger." - Tad Williams

I’m in a missions program. I have people paying me to be on the field. I am working with a church and working for God daily. Shouldn’t I be immune to mistakes? Shouldn’t I be stronger than this? Shouldn’t I have more integrity?

These are just a few of the thoughts I remember thinking when I was on the field. Somehow the label “AIMer” was supposed to make me perfect. Imagine my surprise when I started messing up. I couldn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t ask for help. I couldn’t admit that I was losing control.

The word integrity runs through my head. What I do when no one will ever know or see - that’s who I really am. Paul, even when in prison, rejoiced. He didn’t curse God. He didn’t blame God. He didn’t use his circumstance as an excuse to sin. He had integrity. Yet here I sit in a foreign land, a beautiful place, not a prison, and I want to run from God in embarrassment. I want to find comfort wherever I can.

When asked how I’m doing or asked what’s wrong, I lie. I lie because I’m afraid. I lie because I don’t know how others will react or what they will think. Every time I lie, the fear grows stronger. The chance of me talking about this becomes smaller and smaller.

Someone has to go first. Someone has to be willing to admit the struggle.

I worship at a place where we try to be real - no Sunday School answers, just reality. I see it over and over. Once someone goes beyond the surface and admits something tough, hands begin to go up, and one by one people say, "Me too… I’ve done that… I thought I was the only one."

Someone has to go first. Someone has to be willing to admit the struggle.

About 5 or 6 years after I returned from the field I began to actually be honest. I began to go beyond the surface and talk about my experience and my mistakes. I reached a point where I was no longer afraid of the reactions. The reactions couldn’t hurt as bad as the secrets. It was worth taking a chance. Once I told someone, once I went first, I found out what I should have known all along: I was never alone. I was never the only one.

I thank God for lessons learned. I thank God that He keeps growing something in me that is bigger than the fears that keep me down. Something bigger than depression, addiction, divorce, fear, insecurity, doubt. Whatever the struggle, whatever the fear, He is bigger.

"This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. The one who keeps God’s commands lives in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us." - 1 John 3:19-24

Take confidence in this thought. It is true!

And please, find someone to talk to. Be willing to go first.

-Paige Foreman

The Battle Against Ourselves

People that know me well know that I really like comic books. I know, I know -I am geek. I like them because they often have themes of self-sacrifice, endurance, and personal growth which relate well with our Christian walk. One of my favorite characters is Adam Warlock because he is constantly caught in difficult situations that seem far above his capability to overcome.

Adam often has to wrestle with his own struggles and come to grips with his personal weakness. When fighting against the his arch enemy the Magus, Adam is quite literally wrestles with himself.

What do I mean by that?

Well his nemesis the Magus is actually a evil counter part of himself from the future. I now it sounds pretty ridiculous but stick with me. The Magus is basically the dark and evil side of who Adam is. The Magus is what Adam himself could become if he were to go down the wrong path. So for Adam Warlock the saying “I am my own worst enemy” rings all the more true.

What I really like about Adam is that he has to duel against an evil counter part of himself and comes out as a more holistic person. It seems that before we can really become the whole beings that God intends us to be we must first own up to our greatest weaknesses, struggles, our inner “demons” if you will, and allow Christ’s working power to overcome them.

I have time and time again heard people say that the most difficult thing that they had to face on their mission field was themselves. On the mission field, right in the midst of all of the culture-shock, language barriers, team conflict, support issues and so on, we are easily blindsided by our own sins. Without realizing it our greatest fight becomes the fight against ourselves.

This fight is one that we all must face. Paul talks about this internal war against ourselves when he says, “When I want to do good, evil is with me... waging war against the law of my mind and taking me prisoner to the law of sin in the parts of my body.” All of Romans 7:13-25 is about this internal war. Really, the entire gospel is about this war, because when we come to Christ we become a whole new person. We put the old person to death so that Christ might truly live within us.

”You took off your former way of life, the old man that is corrupted by deceitful desires; you are being renewed in the spirit of your minds, you put on the new man, the one created according to God’s likeness in righteousness and purity of the truth.” -Ephesians 4:22-24

I hope and that you can overcome your personal struggles so that you can fully put on the likeness of Christ. This is my prayer so that you can become fully mature, whole, and complete, the "you" that God intends you to be. To undergo this process is the very story of the gospel being lived out. It is the story of Adam Warlock, it is Paul’s story, and it is our story as well.

Peace and Blessings,

Gary Ford II

FAILURE IS [NOT] AN OPTION

Trials tap into the stockpile of every filthy word you’ve ever heard. They invite you to indulge your favorite acceptable vice for comfort or escape. They drive up stock in Kleenex. They make it really hard to find a reason to get out of bed or take a shower. Trials are a relentless hurt.

And strangely enough, a Christian going through trials may at times find very little encouragement by church services, reading the Bible or even prayer. They appear to be on the verge of insanity, rifled with poor judgment, weak in their faith.

Fortunately, we’re not working on a pass/fail premise here. But if we were, this is one time in which it’s more beneficial to fail!!! It’s in the failing that you recognize what’s lacking, what God is seeking to cultivate within you. Trials give you a look in the mirror and a chance for an extreme soul makeover. It’s encountering His strength in your weakest, most vulnerable state.

The insurmountable “Why, God?” will always beg for answers. And sometimes there’s just no good reason to be found. Incredibly painful and unjust things happen in life. But searching for meaning within the trial is different than searching for its reason.

James refers to “trials of various kinds” because lots of things put your faith on trial besides persecution - things that test you and threaten to bring out your worst.

• grief – divorcing the person you made vows with, mourning a tragic death.
• financial straits – seemingly inescapable debt, losses due to economic recession.
• health concerns – facing cancer, tackling autism, making peace with Alzheimer’s.
• loneliness – being orphaned, aging alone, single people searching for community.
• homosexuality – confronting attractions to the same gender presents a major crisis of faith for so many brothers and sisters in Christ.
• depression – the uncontrollable sadness and loss of interest in livelihood, loss of vitality.

But don’t be too quick to dismiss your situation if it’s not on someone’s list, as if it weren’t difficult enough to be considered a trial. Granted, a trial is more than just a bad day, but never underestimate a gnawing chronic state of dissatisfaction at work, a loveless marriage or the stagnation of a passionless existence. Some trials damage by lingering until they penetrate and mar the soul.

And though it may feel like punishment or judgment, God takes no delight in your wounded spirit or seeing your hurt. God isn’t up there poking you with a really long stick.

Instead, God offers to redeem any season of adversity by developing something that’s not yet present in you. It can help you grow up in the faith and shed your childish skin that craves selfishness, impatience, laziness…

To “get there”, it takes living in the spiritual realities of life, being aware of unseen truths. And the truth is, God’s crying with you. With furrowed brow, tender eyes and outstretched arms, His embrace waits for you.

The really hard thing in all this is the perseverance that’s required. Trials don’t have expiration dates, so we never know if we’re days or decades away from freedom. Even when the need continues for a long time, we retain the practices of trusting and never giving up, praying even when it feels futile, banking on the promises of God, remembering his goodness and mercy. Nietzsche calls it a “long obedience in the same direction.”

Perseverance is more than a mere gritting your teeth and bearing it. It develops a disciplined lifestyle and inches us closer to maturity.

So, if it boils down to a tremendous opportunity to grow closer to Jesus and become more transformed into his image, you have to ultimately decide if that’s worth it to you. Because it’s some HARD STUFF. Difficult moral dilemmas.

Is God worth it?

If you conclude that He is, discern His truth for your path and cling to it for dear life, because it’ll be challenged over and over and over again.

But if you conclude that He’s not, that God doesn’t care about your suffering… God won’t hold your grievances with Him against you. He just loves you. After you commiserate with David’s rants in Psalms, God loves you still!!! And you’ll never be separated from that love.

Keep on keeping on,

Angie Burns

AIM 1991, Portugal

The Joys of Gardening

“I am the true vine, and my father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it, that it may bear more fruit…abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in Me.” John 15

Our great God, The Vinedresser, is always busy tending and nurturing His olive tree. His process requires the utmost patience, moment-by-moment attention and a careful hand. If you’ve ever split the roots of a plant or pruned a plant so as to cause it to grow then you know the meticulous effort and painstaking work involved in the process. Thank God He loves us enough to wound us to make us more fruitful.

Had you asked me at eighteen I probably would’ve told you that I thought Jesus’ words in John 15 likely referred to the harvest of lost souls and the tireless effort of those involved in it. Little did I know. From somewhere and somehow I came to believe that God was primarily concerned with my production of ‘fruit’ in the form of teaching others who would teach others. It took a little while for me to realize that I was gravely mistaken and on a serious road to burnout. Not only that, but I was completely missing the point about what it means to be deeply loved by my creator. As I struggled in those early years -- learning to walk –- the belief that I wasn’t producing enough ‘fruit’ was overwhelming. As the great vinedresser tended and nurtured me, I discovered His true vision: the growth of the ‘fruit’ of His spirit made manifest in my life. And as we should all know, the fruit of the spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience and the like. (Gal 5) This, of course, meant a significant shift in my expectation of myself and of others. I began to understand God’s plan for me in the context of a loving creator and Father instead of a distant taskmaster whom I feared. I believe this process completely natural; Solomon told us that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. I love the idea that God desires more peace, more joy, and love from us. These are remarkable things to attain to that, in great irony, make us better and more effective proclaimers of the gospel. Healthy fruit is aromatic and pleasing to the eye – just ask Eve.

This, of course, is not to say that God is snipping, clipping, and awaiting only a celebration to be born from our hearts, though this has definitely occurred in me at times (and is highly recommended); He is also very concerned with the less popular matters of faithfulness and self-control. Painfully, this is where the great vinedresser tends to draw upon more stringent measures to inspire us.

Romans 11 is a rich passage that uses the Vinedresser imagery to describe God’s tending of Israel by breaking off the natural branches of the root of His olive tree (unbelieving Israel). This seems like a drastic and destructive thing for our Gardener God to do but is explained as the mechanism that would bring ‘riches for the world,’ allow for the gentiles to be grafted into the rich root of His olive tree and ultimately inspire natural Israel’s jealously and ultimate repentance. I think this is a beautiful picture of God’s courage and wisdom to do what is necessary to save as many lives as possible and even enrich His cultivated olive tree with a bunch of wild olives like us. For the last 2000 years this olive tree/mustard tree kingdom has been growing aggressively and pressing against the gates of Hades. Thanks be to God!

When I have faced significant trials that test my resolve and bring me to frustration, I am reminded of God’s severity and willingness to do whatever is necessary to prune me for His purpose. I am learning to view this severity as His great love for me—though it’s always hard. And if YOU have ever born fruit, He WILL prune you again and again. “…and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it, that it may bear more fruit.” If you are a fruit-bearing branch of “The Vine,” Jesus Christ, then you’ve been blessed to experience this at The Vinedresser's hand. “…abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in me.” As he clips and prunes – sometimes severely – we are forced deeper into the vine for sustenance and the restorative power of Jesus. We reach into his Heart for the strength and character to be be reborn with new growth, stronger tendrils, heartier leaves, and healthier, more delectable fruit.

As the Lord loves you severely into His holiness, may you consider it pure joy and be fruitful again and again bearing ‘fruit that will last,’ ‘much fruit,’ and so prove to be His disciples.

“Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!” Rom 11:33

Nathan D. Myers (Aim Alum, Russia 95)