Baloney

Confession: Sometimes I pretend that I’ve read a book when I’ve only read the dustcover.

It’s hard not to be a poser. And it’s hard to let go of wanting to be more than what I am.

Richard Foster, who is best known for his book Celebration of Discipline, talks about spiritual formation with a great affinity. If that terminology is new to you, it’s only a phrase that describes what happens in any life that endeavors to be formed into the image of Jesus Christ. Foster longs for how Christianity could be manifested in our world. “I dream of a day when spiritual formation has so saturated all who follow hard after Jesus that they become known to all as experts in how to live well.” That would make YOU the resident expert on how to love your spouse or children or how to manage money, how to love the least, how to suffer through hardship…

The problem is, some people want to be these experts (or write or speak as such) without having a substantial amount of spiritual formation in their lives to back it up. The result is what Foster calls “Holy Baloney.” And when those who are looking for Christ encounter it so much, it becomes harder to distinguish true Christianity from pseudo-Christianity.

I’ve certainly been guilty of wanting to appear more spiritual than I am. AIM is one of the highlights of my spiritual formation journey. But I admit being tempted to keep up with the spiritual Joneses. And on the mission field, I remember wanting to frame our newsletters in such a way to show we were always on the verge of baptizing someone. Then I felt like as an ex-AIMer, I should be able to ace all Bible trivia questions and should fit neatly into mainstream Christianity…

Look, people want the real deal. Most can recognize when someone’s posing. They sense whether or not you really care about them or if you just want to close the deal with baptism. They are keen to pick up on ulterior motives. They take note of those who talk big and seem to have all the answers.

Being an expert at something doesn’t mean being perfect. In fact, most experts agree that being an expert doesn’t come without years of research and failures in their field.

So, wherever you are in your spiritual formation journey, you are exactly where you should be.

Because the best way for you to be Jesus is for you to just be yourself.

-Angie Burns

It’s coming!

Though it may be ancient history for you (as it is for me) an important day is fast approaching for a certain group of people. It is the day that the latest graduates from the AIM program will cross the stage, receive their certificate, and officially conclude their commitment. Though most have been back from their field assignments for months, this will still be a significant experience as it marks the end.

For those of you that experienced it, what are your specific memories about that day? What was it like for you? Do you remember how it felt to see everyone again? Can you still remember how much people had changed, physically and spiritually? Maybe you felt sadness because it was done or maybe you felt excited because of what you were doing next, but whatever you experienced you probably have some strong memories about it.

Well, on March 13 I have the privilege to speak to these students. I have thought and prayed long and hard about what to say to them. I do realize, though, that I am limited. I am limited to my own experience. Though I have talked to hundreds of AIM alumni over the last 15 years, I still only have my vantage point. So I’m wondering, what would you say? More specifically, what do you wish someone had told you? If you were able to go back and address your AIM class what would you have want said to you that would have helped you to get through the transition smoother and in an even more healthy way? What would you have said to encourage? To challenge? To help your audience cling even tighter to their relationship with the God who made and has purpose for them? What would you say?

I have no illusions that this one speech will fix everything, but if it is able to bless one student, that is a tremendous blessing that I want to participate in. I ask that you would be praying for me that I would do this in a way that would bring honor to God and that you would send me your thoughts so that I could more fully express ideas that would bring greater healing to His people.

- Jason Thornton

Prayer Requests

Several people have suggested that we start a thread for prayer requests. As we work on that, please use this area for now to send us your requests. Then, next week we will continue with another fresh blog article!

- AIM ALUM

The God of the small stuff

I love science. Not all of it though. Biology leaves me confused, and though I admire folks who make that their life-work, it's not a field that has much appeal to me. I love the certainty of chemistry and the 'relative' (excuse the pun) certainty of physics. But there's a field of science that I've grown enamored with in the last decade, the field of biochemistry, the study of biology on a molecular level, examining the way “life” functions beyond the level of cells, at the level of proteins and DNA. While I haven't yet found a Biochemistry For Dummies, I am always looking for a new textbook or some other entry-level book to help me understand it more. I recently bought a coffeetable book, Nano Nature by Richard Jones. He took images from scanning electron microscope, and revealed a world of beauty and detail at a level that few people in the entire world knew existed. It is easy to look at a flower, or a butterfly, and to marvel at its beauty, but to know that the scales of a butterfly's wing (I didn't even know that the wing had scales on it!) are each a separate color, and are also grooved for what I would imagine are some improved aerodynamics opened my eyes to the amazing way this world is put together.

Why's that important to me? I confess that sometimes I get to living like all God is concerned about is the big picture. I don't take the little things to Him, because He's only going to work on the major stuff, whatever that is in my head that week. (I don't know where I've drawn the line, but it's there somewhere.) And the 'big' Christian acts, like Sunday worship or teaching Bible class, get my attention, but the 'little' ones, like daily listening to Him or talking to Him, get put on the back burner. (I know, it's so backwards, but that's how we live, isn't it?) But when I read about biochemistry and see the detail in the natural world a molecular level, I'm reminded that God is as concerned about the little details too!

I don't think this is important for an AIM alumnus only, but for those of us who have been involved in the “big” picture work of sharing our faith in a 'foreign' country, sometimes the everyday living out of our faith can feel small in comparison. I hope that you will remember that God doesn't feel that way, that God wants you to be as faithful now as He did when you were in Lubbock or on the field. And I hope that you'll help us to encourage each other to reveal God in the “details” of your life.

So how have you seen God's concern in the “small stuff” in your life?

- Donovan Fox

Joseph as a missionary- The dream and the reality

I've been thinking a lot about Joseph, son of Jacob, as a missionary. The story of Joseph begins in Genesis 37 and concludes in Genesis 50. Now, I know that Joseph never intentionally left home to serve as missionary for the Lord. Still, one cannot get around all of the lessons that this man of God brings to light and the way those lessons parallel missions. The next few times I write, I will be focusing in on a few of these ideas.

One of the big struggles that so many of us face in life involve our dreams and expectations. What happens when dreams don't match reality? What happens when expectations are met with disillusionment and failure? I can't tell you how many times in ministry, missions, and life I have spoken with people about this very issue. Marriages ending in divorce because expectations weren't met. Preachers hanging their heads in failure, following the loss of dreams and hopes. Missionaries returning home, saddened by life's disappointments. This dark cloud of failure seems to follow so many of us throughout life.

Joseph had a dream too. Genesis 37 says that at age seventeen, Joseph dreamt of a future where he was respected and honored, revered and exalted by those around him. I seriously doubt that any of us have ever expressed such a self-centered dream to our family and friends as Joseph did. And yet, the core expectation of Joseph's dream is felt by all. Most of us want to succeed in life. We desire honor and fortune in our journeys. Who sets out to let people down? Like Joseph, the dream of accomplishment is ever before us.

The dreams of Joseph were indeed great. In all reality, God planned on fulfilling that dream, but not for the reasons that Joseph had planned. God's vision for Joseph was greater than making him a Lord to be worshipped. God's vision was that Joseph might serve and ultimately save his family (Genesis 45:5-7). To accomplish that goal, God had to take Joseph down an unforeseen path. What might have been perceived as failure to Joseph (becoming a slave, being falsely accused of wickedness, ending up in prison) was just the path God had chosen. Joseph couldn't have reached his destination had he tried to. So, God lead him down a different road, an unlikely one.

Well, we have dreams too. Sometimes those dreams are pure, and sometimes they aren't. Still, God is smarter than us. The road he leads us down may be filled with failures and disappointment. However, God sees the bigger picture. God sees the perfect path for us, not simply so that we can be exalted, but so that people can be saved (Acts 17:26-27). We should hand our dreams over to the Lord. Allow him to guide our steps. After all, we never know what is coming next. Whether pain or prosperity, failure or fortune, God knows our dreams and has his own dreams for us too.

- Chris Johnson

We're On A Mission From God

If you’ve never seen The Blues Brothers, here’s a crude synopsis: John Belushi and Dan Akroyd play Jake and Elwood Blues. Upon Jake’s release from prison for armed robbery, he and his brother visit the orphanage where they grew up, which is about to close unless they come up with 5 grand in property taxes. While visiting a church, Jake has a revelation that they can raise the money by reuniting their old band. On their journey to accomplish this mission, they’re met by resistance from a bitter ex-fiance, a group of neo-nazis, a country-western band and a large portion of the Illinois Police force. But nothing… nothing deters them from accomplishing their mission.

Yes, like Jake and Elwood, ex-AIMers are on a mission from God - one that that has been forming in us since birth. It led us to AIM and has never left us. Certainly God can and does use AIM to open us up to possibilities of expressing this sense of purpose in life through short-term missions. But for some of us, it doesn’t stick. Only one out of the 5 people on my AIM team is currently involved in full-time mission work, and it’s not me.

But I’m still on a mission from God. There’s still something within me that will not let me rest and cannot be neglected. Before AIM, going to church seemed to quell the gnawing. After AIM, it’s more complicated. But what I learned and experienced through AIM is still very relevant.

After AIM, I found myself stuck between two worlds which produced a crisis of faith that’s best described in these Sara Groves song lyrics:

"I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt, leaving out what it lacked. The future seems so hard and I want to go back. But the places that used to fit me cannot hold the things I’ve learned. And those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned. The past is so tangible. I know it by heart. Familiar things are never easy to discard. I was dying for some freedom, but now I hesitate to go - caught between the promise and the things I know."

I acutely felt this when I first returned from the mission field. So, I very quickly re-entered the AIM environment as a staff assistant. And that did help me regain a bit of vision for my life. But because I knew I didn’t feel called to foreign missions, it was really just prolonging the inevitable struggle of figuring out my life’s mission…

Mission work isn’t an event. Your mission from God is an expression of who you are in Christ Jesus. And my mission has evolved over the years, but basically it’s this: I’m loved. And I’m love’s ambassador to those who don’t feel comfortable sitting on padded pews. I find an easy camaraderie with those who have been burned by religion, or those who struggle with homosexuality, people who deal with divorce or pornography or anything that might make them feel marginalized by mainstream Christianity… And it’s good to know that about myself and be released from the guilt of not conforming to a traditional missionary standard. The Spirit guides me, and nothing can deter me from living my mission. Things like dissatisfaction with organized religion, theological disagreements or liberalism vs. conservatism cannot even touch it.

But I’ve found it does stagnate on occasion and begs to be reinvented. I’m feeling that right now, and all those Sara Groves lyrics come rushing back to me. God’s word sharply convicts me. I know it’s time to be propelled forward again. So God and I are re-working things. But He comforts me with this sweet revelation: If evangelism feels too hard, you’re probably not doing it right.

Your mission may include foreign mission work, relief work in war-ravaged countries or disaster-stricken Haiti, medical missions, working with Habitat for Humanity or financially supporting any worthy causes like those. Or you could be called to the equally challenging task of following through with someone God has placed in your path, shepherding with or without a holding that particular title, preaching and teaching with or without a pulpit, ministering to youth. Wherever the body or soul is in crisis, there is a place for you.

But nothing will feel quite right until you really know who you are in Christ. Open yourself up to God’s leading and embrace the adventure of your personal mission.

I’ll conclude with a question that might help reveal your natural state of evangelism. Where do you find easy camaraderie? With the elderly, with foreigners, people who are in the same stage of life as you, college students, people who deal with depression, atheists? Who do you most enjoy?

- Angie Burns

AIM is perfect!

AIM is perfect!

How many of you laughed at the title? Of course, when we assert it in such a manner the absurdity seems obvious. Yet as I hear some of us share our experiences I’m saddened at the emphasis often given to our negative experiences. I am struck with the thought that to remedy everything that we complain about would require the program to be perfect. All pain ultimately comes from the disappointment of expectations. So when we are experiencing pain, we must ask ourselves what our expectations were. Though this won’t make all pain go away, it can clarify things and help us in our healing. As a point of comparison, consider the following:

Let’s imagine you were an embedded reporter from the beginnings of Jesus’ ministry and somehow remained objective and only reported what you saw. Now imagine you are near the end of Jesus’ ministry and are a witness to Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. There you observe as one of Jesus’ inner circle betrays him and the other 11 desert him. Later on one will commit suicide, one will deny even knowing him and only one ends up being present at the crucifixion. After his resurrection, which should be the most compelling evidence of all time, his followers are all caught off guard that Jesus is rumored to be alive and one aggressively challenges the idea, demanding proof. Acts 1 clearly demonstrates they are completely unaware of the goal of His Kingdom and then, quite astoundingly, on the way to witness the ascension it says that some doubted.

So, after over 2 years of intensive training with the very Son of God and witnessing proof after proof that should have sealed the deal and caused them to be exceptionally strong in their faith, you end up with all of them experiencing serious doubt and faith weaknesses, struggling with cowardice, ignorant of the overall goal of the “program” and signs of serious sin issues: lying, arrogance, selfishness, hopelessness and suicide. From the outside looking in, do you want to send your kid to be part of Jesus’ program?

Blame is a powerful tool that the Devil uses to keep us from experiencing healing and growth in Christ. As long as I focus on someone else’s weaknesses, I lose access to God’s strength. This leads to feeling powerless and eventually bitter. In order for me to heal I must face these facts: AIM is a group of flawed Christians, trying to provide a growth opportunity for other flawed Christians so that they can go work alongside other flawed Christians. And, as we learn quickly, flawed Christians tend to have flaws in their Christianity. This means people get hurt. This hurt always happens, whether you are in AIM or not, but since AIM is a “professional Christian organization” we somehow expect the normal things that happen in everyone’s life not to happen there.

Since the AIM staff is not perfect, as Jesus was, we should expect them to have a poorer track record than Jesus did. It is truly not within any program’s ability to provide a guarantee that I will remain faithful to God and have a thriving relationship with Him. God gave each person free will. Jesus trained 12 men for over 2 years and all of them initially failed and one failed miserably. Was Jesus’ training flawed? Because of who Jesus is, we would say no. Because we know the rest of the Apostles’ story, we would say no. We, though, are still writing our stories. How amazing it will be to read them when they include stepping away from the chains of negative experiences and stepping into the freedom of God’s strength and power to bring good from all situations.

- Jason Thornton