Catching Up

Before writing this, I took a minute to just sit… and breathe. I’d like to invite you to do the same. Just take one moment to take in a deep breath… and let it out.

A lot of us can relate to feeling too busy. All of us have heard sermons of various kinds telling us that we need to set aside time to spend alone, to pray, to meditate, to read. Similarly, we have all heard “shoulda/coulda/woulda” stories from older men and women that we need to spend more quality time with our families and friends. We all struggle through knowing whether or not to dedicate time to this or that activity, to volunteer with this or that group, or to teach this or that class. Most of us know what’s most important to us, but then there are also bills to pay and houses to clean and food to prepare and everything else in the world to take care of. 

I certainly don’t have the answer for these predicaments, but I would like to address at least one aspect of the issue – do you sometimes feel like you’re behind? Like if somehow you can take the maximum hours in school that you’ll make up for the fact that you’ve been living abroad for a couple of years? Whether you’re going through Sunset or a university or cosmetology school or just working up the ladder, are you rushing through this phase so you can “catch up”? Do you even know what would it look like to be caught up? 

Does the end goal matter more than the way we get there? The Bible is replete with examples of patience and encouragements to live now. If we are looking to the future, it’s with the mindset of heaven being our home. I would like to encourage all of us to be grateful for the experiences we’ve had, even if they were really trying, and to be content with what God has for us in this moment. If that’s proving impossible, maybe it’s a sign that God wants you somewhere else. But before you decide one way or the other, make sure you talk with God about it, and with others you trust. If our whole lives are about what’s coming next, well, we’re not guaranteed anything but today, so let’s dedicate ourselves to making life count regardless of whether we’re married yet or have a degree yet or have a career yet or have a mission team yet. 

God wants our lives now. And if that feels like a burden instead of a blessing, I would challenge us to take a look at our lives and think of one thing we could drop. It could be the tiniest thing that’s sucking out that last bit of energy from our day. Remember, God is omnipotent, not us, and he will equip us to do every good thing we’re called to do. Rest in that promise, and let yourself be a little less busy today.

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." - 2 Corinthians 3:17

-Brettin White

 Tlalpan, Mexico 
 AIM 2007

Home?

I recently had a very good conversation with a current AIMer who is on a short visit home for the first time in a year. She'll be going back to her field for a few more months before finishing. And yet, she's already feeling a lot of the things that we call reverse culture-shock. The crux of our conversation was dealing with the concept of "home," and trying to figure out what to do next. I just wrote this poem a couple of weeks ago, illustrating an aspect of God that has comforted me often during life transitions, of which coming "home" from the field is only one example (though it is an outstanding one).


Let's remind ourselves that our "home" is in heaven, and that it's good to feel "homeless" here to some extent. Let's also remind ourselves that God is everywhere, even now, and be encouraged to trust him with what's ahead, what's behind, and what's directly in front of us.


"And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, in the hope that they might feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, for 'In him we live and move and have our being'..." -Acts 17:26-28


You are here, I know
Because it shows.
But sometimes what comforts me most
is how you're here
before we're here.
And you're there
when we're not there, anymore.


Your omnipresence abides at my core,
And I'm sure it endures beyond that door
with those I don't even see anymore
and the ones whom, as of yet, I still haven't met.


Be here with me, and there with my thoughts
and everywhere always, someday we'll be
anywhere, always, it's true, with you.


-Brettin White
 Tlaplan, Mexico
 AIM 2007

Humility

Jo Yoder, AIM '06, spent her field time in Grass Valley, CA, and I have the privilege of living with her on her old field, now home. She was writing this to a friend and I overheard a bit of it and asked if I could share it with you all. Be encouraged!

***





Tuesdays we have a small group gathering to share what is going on in our lives and to strengthen each other. Tonight we talked about humility. My friend Leland asked us all what our definition or understanding of humility would be.

There were a lot of good points made:
humility is seeing yourself as God sees you;
humility is having an open state of honesty about oneself; and
humility is recognizing that everything we are and have has been given to us.

Jesus is the best example of humility. And we never see him putting himself down, or thinking little of himself, which is something we can sometimes mistake for humility. Instead, we see him constantly acknowledging the Father and walking with confidence in the path that God set before him. That is true humility - dependence on the Lord, putting our focus on him instead of ourselves, on his will instead of ours.

So this is my encouragement to you, that you are able to be completely humble and not dragged down by focusing on yourself, either on how you are inadequate in yourself or how you are strong in yourself. May the Lord be your light, the power in your life and the one who makes you holy!

Blessings.

-Jo Yoder

A plea from the heart of a lady back home

So, maybe you’ve been back home from the mission field for a long time. Maybe you just stepped off of the plane a few days ago. Or maybe, you’ve already moved on to a different field or town or country.

Whatever your current residency status, at some point or another, you certainly have visited your home congregation. And it certainly was difficult, at least to some degree.

Let me tell you about a conversation I had with a lady from my home congregation recently. The church I grew up attending is somewhat of an AIMer factory, and lots of ex-AIMers, even those who aren’t originally from my hometown, find themselves planted there. And yet, lots of ex-AIMers have found themselves back home, but are not planted there at all. The lady I was talking with expressed her pain over this. “I’m not saying I expect everyone to call our church home again – I’m not expecting anything from them at all, actually. I just want them to come and say hi at least. I want them to let me love them and hug their necks again, even if they’ve moved on to different things. I think we deserve that at least.”

This was really enlightening to me and got me thinking. I know not everyone has such an understanding home church, but I can bet you that there is at least someone back home who wants to try to understand, who wants to just hug you and remind you that you are loved. Maybe they won’t connect with every story you have to share. Maybe you won’t ever feel at home in such a big (or small) congregation, who sings so differently or is set up so differently or “isn’t as intimate” or “isn’t as involved.”

But you know what? If it weren’t for those people that we can be so quick to judge in our self-righteous "missionary" attitudes, we wouldn’t have had the chance to be a missionary in the first place. Really, we may not have even known Christ at all if it weren’t for those preachers, those youth ministers, those elders, those peers, those parents, those little old ladies that raised us and participated in our early Christian days.

It isn't wrong to move on to something different, whether that be a different city or even a house church or another congregation in your own hometown. But please, as this lady from my church said, at least give them the chance to love you. Give them the chance to hear how you appreciate them (and if you don’t appreciate them, maybe pray about that first). They’re not perfect, but I know you know, neither are we. And it shouldn’t be “us and them” in the first place because we're all one body. So please, let us stop giving missionaries a bad name and be humble enough to remember our roots and love one another.

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.” – Romans 12:10

Love,

Brettin White

To Suffer With

One of the things I learned while I was on the field is how to suffer.

I know, I know, that’s so dramatic. But it’s true. There are so many different kinds of trials that it’s hard to talk about them in generalities, so right now I’m going to focus on compassion, otherwise known as suffering with others.

When I was in Mexico, I learned something about three different friends in the youth group there: one who was 15 and pregnant, one struggling with homosexual feelings, and one who was abusing drugs. I was totally overwhelmed by each of these situations, knowing full well that I had never dealt with any of those specific things, and I had no idea how to help. These were obviously not the only overwhelming or painful situations I encountered in my ministry, but these were the ones that hurt me most. I remember one night in particular, going into the bathroom in our apartment and just sobbing as silently as I could. I didn’t even know what to pray to God, much less what to say to them. I felt helpless as a missionary, and even more importantly, as a friend.

But the story isn't over. A favorite verse of mine is Psalm 56:8 – “Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll – are they not in your record?” I love the thought that God knows our every tear. One of the shortest verses in the Bible, “Jesus wept,” demonstrates one of Jesus’ defining attributes: his compassion on humanity, manifested by his coming to our world and suffering with us to show us that he cares and to save us from the worst of fates. Paul says to the Colossians that he rejoices in his sufferings for them, that he is “filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, the church”.

These words convince me that there is something inherently and yet intangibly valuable in our sufferings here on earth. I wish I could calculate it right away, but I guess that’s where trust comes in; it’s not an exact equation. In these situations with my friends that I described, I cried for them and let my tears be a prayer for healing and redemption. My suffering isn’t like Jesus’ in the sense that his washed away our sins, but my suffering can, like Paul’s, make a difference in my own soul as well as others, by the grace of God. Sometimes there are happy endings, and other times we just have to wait and watch, remembering that God really does care. I’ll end with this poem I wrote after that night of crying in the bathroom:

c

o

u

n

t

my

tears;

save them

in a cup, just

like you promised.

If you can walk on water,

you can build my tears into

something beautiful. I trust

you, more than ever tonight.

This pain must be used for

something valuable,

healing, like yours.

Please.

-Brettin White

This Is My Command...

I've been writing some letters these days.

At the risk of stating the obvious, I'll mention that reverse culture shock has been really, really hard for me. It's so easy to justify sin when things are stressful, and any sin, no matter how seemingly trivial, hurts our relationship with God. Honest self-examination before a God that I know really loves me is so healing at these times. Healing comes full circle at the point of confession and repentance. How awesome that his grace is new every morning!

But one thing to consider is this - many sins we commit day to day are sins against other people, too. And as long as we ignore the effect that lies, selfishness, pride, lust, gossip, etc. have on our closest friends and family, we won't truly be free from sin and its consequences.

I've recently written two letters, and can already think of one more I need to write, where I do just that. I confess the things that I did to hurt the other person, clearly and honestly. And I apologize, both for specific, named actions and words and for the motivating attitudes behind them. It's really intimidating, but so far, it's been so powerfully healing.

I've learned from many recent mistakes that I can't really apologize when I'm too busy pointing out to the other person what he's done wrong to me. And you know, I do think there is a place for lovingly confronting someone, but that's not been my problem. My problem has been me saying something to this effect: "Well, yeah, I did that. And I shouldn't have, I guess. But you've done all these things, and have you noticed what I'm going through these days on top of all of that?? I mean, what do you expect? I'm not perfect!"

I've learned that this is not what God calls us to. It's true - relationships have dynamics that are way beyond our personal control, like another person's actions or reactions. But to make that an excuse to not do the things that are in our control is not being Christ-like. "If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" Romans 12:18. This is not a cop-out; this is a command to do whatever is possible. How often do we really do that?

Back to my point. We as Christians are to be ministers of reconciliation. We proclaim the good news of how to be reconciled with God. And the very same Bible tells us news that if we aren't doing whatever we can to be reconciled to our brother, than we are hypocrites. I still have a long way to go, and I hope to God that next time I remember to be slower to anger and quicker to seek peace. But by God's grace I'm taking some steps of faith. I hope this encourages you all to do the same.

"[Love] is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." - 1 Corinthians 13:5-6

"This is my command: Love each other." - John 15:17

Your sister,
Brettin White

AIM Alumni Brown Bag

For my article this week I wanted to share an open letter written by Brettin White, a recent graduate from the 2007 class. She has a great insight into how we can get stuck and presents a striking parallel from the Apostle’s experience. For those who graduated a while ago, a “Hello from Lubbock” email is a periodic correspondence that Kris Smith has been sending out that informs people about the ongoing progress of the AIM classes. I’m sure he would send it to you if you ask him.

Enjoy!


- Jason Thornton
________________________________

A “Brown-bag” for Ex-AIMers

Disclaimer: I am certain that these are all things that we already know; however, these are things that have struck me recently, and I felt the need to share.

I read the most recent “Hello from Lubbock” email the other day and was excited to hear news about the ’09 class heading out to their various fields. It was strange to hear reminders for the ’08 class winding up their field times, some much sooner than later. But the strangest of all was that the ’07 class wasn’t addressed. Another reminder, Oh yeah, I’m done.

And there was a line Kris wrote that stood out to me: “For those about to go [to the field], you have heard us say this before, the best part is ahead of you and it will be what you make of it. So dive in with all you’ve got.”

I believe this statement wholeheartedly, but I also believe this: we should ALWAYS apply this statement to our lives. The best part is always ahead, never behind. I might even say directly ahead, so maybe we should be saying these things to the ’10 class about Lubbock too. We dive in to our present, our today, with all we’ve got, not because it’s our “field time” but because it’s our life, and it is “all we’ve got.” I think we can sometimes read statements like this and let them bring us down, let lies creep in that our “glory days” have come and gone.

And that’s just as silly as those middle-aged fat men on sitcoms who talk about their “glory days” in high school. I mean, I want to say, really? The best of your life was your adolescence? You have so much more to live! You weren’t even totally mature yet, and that was your peak? But we’re doing the same thing spiritually if we have any thoughts like that about our field time, or really any time we could point at and say, “It all goes downhill from here.”

I was reading Acts the other day, and I love it when Jesus ascends into heaven, and an angel has to come and say, “Why do you stand here looking into the sky?” That’s such a silly situation to imagine – who knows how long they were standing there before a messenger of God came to ask them, why? He goes on to say, “This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven.” I love that phrase, “this same Jesus.”

I was talking to my teammate Toby the other day about how I’ve missed talking to my really good friends in Mexico City on Skype recently. Then I remembered how when I first came home from Mexico, I was basically glued to my laptop at all times, waiting to talk to Miguel or Rocío or Grecia, looking at pictures from Mexico on facebook, and how that must have looked to my parents while we were playing games or to my friends staying over at my house. My mom even said to me once, “I understand. You’re just not really here yet.” And I’m not saying that’s wrong necessarily, everyone struggles with that, but I think God’s been nudging me the past couple of months, asking me “Why do you stand here looking into the sky?” Jesus is the same Jesus whether I’m in Mexico, Oklahoma, California, Japan, wherever. So even though I’ve missed seeing my friends online lately, I think it’s been good for me to remember, oh yeah, the best is still ahead of me, and Jesus is still faithful.

I’d like to ask that we pray for the current AIM classes, and the one that’s currently forming, but please don’t forget to pray for each other too, the graduated ones, however long ago that may have been. “As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you” (1 Sam. 12:23). Let’s ask God to “establish the works of our hands” (Ps. 90:17) and that we would be filled with the knowledge of God’s will and live lives that are pleasing to him (Col. 1).

Shout outs: To everyone: Thanks for reading. I love you! :)

- Brettin White