Refreshing the Saints

I love food--good tasting food, anyway. I love how flavors come together to create a delectable treat that fills me up and makes me warm and happy inside. I guess that’s why some foods are called refreshments.

There’s nothing like the refreshing taste of a vanilla Dr. Pepper. (or insert your refreshment of choice here) Maybe for you it’s a cup of coffee. A glass of coke without ice. A sip of tea. Or a tall drink of clean, clear water that satisfies the body’s craving for life.

Water is the life-source for all living things—physically speaking, of course. When I don’t drink enough water during the week, each sip I do take is like life to my soul. It tastes so good, that I want more! And yet, I often go for the Dr. Pepper or coffee before I reach for the water. And my body suffers the consequences of my choices—headaches, dehydration, lack of energy.

What is refreshing to you? I mean, spiritually refreshing. What does refreshing even mean?

Re means to do again—to bring [something] back.

Fresh means, ripe, not old, not stale—at its best.

So to refresh means to bring something back to the state at which it is at its best.

I must admit, I’m not always at my best. I love vanilla Dr. Pepper—with extra vanilla, please, and light on the ice. Maybe a little coffee with my french vanilla creamer. But that doesn’t mean it’s good for me. The sweet taste of it sure makes me feel re-energized for a time—then it’s gone. And I have to suffer the sugar/caffeine crash or get some more. But I never have side effects from refreshing water.

What spiritually refreshes you? What fills your cup? What brings you back to your best?

“I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you. “

-Philemon 4-7 ESV

"Refresh" in the Greek in this context means to give rest, that is to permit one to cease from any movement or labor in order to recover and collect his strength.

I wonder what Philemon did that was so refreshing to others. Yes, there was something about his love and of the faith he had towards Jesus and all the saints, but what did that look like in his everyday life? Whatever it was, I reckon those saints told other people about Philemon’s actions and somehow word got back to Paul—not just about one saint, but many. Philemon took the opportunity to give rest to others—many others. They told others about his godly characteristics that made them feel like they were back at their best again with renewed strength. And Paul was thankful to God for Philemon’s refreshing heart towards others. Philemon's refreshing actions gave comfort and joy to Paul.

Refreshing. Like a good friend who still loves you when you’re at you’re worst and can still inspire you to be your best.

Do you have a friend like that who refreshes others? One who makes others feel at rest that they may grow in spiritual strength?

Are you that friend who does the refreshing? I don’t know that I’m that friend. I’d like to think so at times that I am that refreshing friend. And hope so at others. And well, I’m such an introvert that being around lot of people constantly often drains the energy out of me, and so I’m often in need of being refreshed.

But I do have a friend who refreshes me. We’ve known each other for many years. We didn’t grow up together. We were never neighbors. We didn’t go to school together. Our families didn’t know each other. Neither one of us were believers even when we met, so we didn’t go to church together. We’ve never even lived in the same town. Ever.

We were pen pals. Yep, we used to write old fashioned letters to each other every week. We started writing when we were 12, met at age 13 and we've been good friends ever since. As adults, we've gotten to see each other at least once a year. I feel like whenever we’re together in the same room that no time has passed since we were together last. And we never went to AIM together. But she loves God like those AIM Alumni I've come to know and love over the years!

We both became believers later on in life and have had many a great spiritual conversation together since then.

When she and I get together, there’s just something about being with her that refreshes me—that brings me back to my best at who I am in God—that gives me strength to keep on pressing on. Oh, I’m not perfect when I’m with her, but I’m back in love with God and am excited about Him. My mind seems clearer when discussing scriptures, Bible concepts and principles. I have comfort and joy again.

I feel excited about being a Jesus follower—again.

Being around her brings me peace. There’s no pressure to do or be anything other than who I am when I’m around her. I can sleep in if I’m staying at her house. I can bring homemade turkey broth to make soup. I can bring half-baked sourdough bread and we can laugh together about how awful it tastes! And eat it anyways! And be an ear to listen and a hand to hold during the tough times. And bring God into the conversation at every turn.

Whenever I’m feeling stressed, uneasy, or there’s a war raging within, I love going to her place and just being.

We can talk about our great and wonderful God in the midst of our struggles.

What is it about her that makes me feel so refreshed when I’m around her? I think it has to do with her love for God and how she lives that out in her daily life serving God and her family. She is patient, kind, loving, merciful, grace giving, generous, servant-hearted, thoughtful—a true Christ-follower. She’s not perfect either. But she is someone who inspires me to be more like Jesus because of the way she lives her life for Him. And there’s a peace that floods my soul when I’m around her. I don’t know what that is, or how it works or why that happens. It just does.

Everytime.

I always leave her place feeling like I’ve just been with God— whether I’m stopping by to only spend an hour with her as I’m passing through town or coming to visit for a week.

I don’t know what I give to her in our friendship. I hope it’s something good. And I pray that whatever it is I can do for her that it’s refreshing to her soul, too.

And friends who aren't spiritually refreshing are just like that vanilla Dr. Pepper that’s tasty but not good for you. They may be “fun for you”, but not good for you. You may get some benefits from the friendship, but the long term consequences might be harmful rather than be refreshing. Not to say you should have friends just to receive benefits.

But are your friends dragging you down spiritually or when you leave their presence do you feel like you’re just been with God and refreshed heart and soul?

I pray to our God for you, dear reader, for friends who spiritually strengthen you and that you are the friend who refreshes others. Bring out the best in them to the glory of God. And be that kind of refreshment to others. You never know what God will do through you!

“For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.”

-Jewel Melton

 Zapresic, Croatia

 AIM 2002

A plea from the heart of a lady back home

So, maybe you’ve been back home from the mission field for a long time. Maybe you just stepped off of the plane a few days ago. Or maybe, you’ve already moved on to a different field or town or country.

Whatever your current residency status, at some point or another, you certainly have visited your home congregation. And it certainly was difficult, at least to some degree.

Let me tell you about a conversation I had with a lady from my home congregation recently. The church I grew up attending is somewhat of an AIMer factory, and lots of ex-AIMers, even those who aren’t originally from my hometown, find themselves planted there. And yet, lots of ex-AIMers have found themselves back home, but are not planted there at all. The lady I was talking with expressed her pain over this. “I’m not saying I expect everyone to call our church home again – I’m not expecting anything from them at all, actually. I just want them to come and say hi at least. I want them to let me love them and hug their necks again, even if they’ve moved on to different things. I think we deserve that at least.”

This was really enlightening to me and got me thinking. I know not everyone has such an understanding home church, but I can bet you that there is at least someone back home who wants to try to understand, who wants to just hug you and remind you that you are loved. Maybe they won’t connect with every story you have to share. Maybe you won’t ever feel at home in such a big (or small) congregation, who sings so differently or is set up so differently or “isn’t as intimate” or “isn’t as involved.”

But you know what? If it weren’t for those people that we can be so quick to judge in our self-righteous "missionary" attitudes, we wouldn’t have had the chance to be a missionary in the first place. Really, we may not have even known Christ at all if it weren’t for those preachers, those youth ministers, those elders, those peers, those parents, those little old ladies that raised us and participated in our early Christian days.

It isn't wrong to move on to something different, whether that be a different city or even a house church or another congregation in your own hometown. But please, as this lady from my church said, at least give them the chance to love you. Give them the chance to hear how you appreciate them (and if you don’t appreciate them, maybe pray about that first). They’re not perfect, but I know you know, neither are we. And it shouldn’t be “us and them” in the first place because we're all one body. So please, let us stop giving missionaries a bad name and be humble enough to remember our roots and love one another.

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.” – Romans 12:10

Love,

Brettin White

This Is My Command...

I've been writing some letters these days.

At the risk of stating the obvious, I'll mention that reverse culture shock has been really, really hard for me. It's so easy to justify sin when things are stressful, and any sin, no matter how seemingly trivial, hurts our relationship with God. Honest self-examination before a God that I know really loves me is so healing at these times. Healing comes full circle at the point of confession and repentance. How awesome that his grace is new every morning!

But one thing to consider is this - many sins we commit day to day are sins against other people, too. And as long as we ignore the effect that lies, selfishness, pride, lust, gossip, etc. have on our closest friends and family, we won't truly be free from sin and its consequences.

I've recently written two letters, and can already think of one more I need to write, where I do just that. I confess the things that I did to hurt the other person, clearly and honestly. And I apologize, both for specific, named actions and words and for the motivating attitudes behind them. It's really intimidating, but so far, it's been so powerfully healing.

I've learned from many recent mistakes that I can't really apologize when I'm too busy pointing out to the other person what he's done wrong to me. And you know, I do think there is a place for lovingly confronting someone, but that's not been my problem. My problem has been me saying something to this effect: "Well, yeah, I did that. And I shouldn't have, I guess. But you've done all these things, and have you noticed what I'm going through these days on top of all of that?? I mean, what do you expect? I'm not perfect!"

I've learned that this is not what God calls us to. It's true - relationships have dynamics that are way beyond our personal control, like another person's actions or reactions. But to make that an excuse to not do the things that are in our control is not being Christ-like. "If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" Romans 12:18. This is not a cop-out; this is a command to do whatever is possible. How often do we really do that?

Back to my point. We as Christians are to be ministers of reconciliation. We proclaim the good news of how to be reconciled with God. And the very same Bible tells us news that if we aren't doing whatever we can to be reconciled to our brother, than we are hypocrites. I still have a long way to go, and I hope to God that next time I remember to be slower to anger and quicker to seek peace. But by God's grace I'm taking some steps of faith. I hope this encourages you all to do the same.

"[Love] is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." - 1 Corinthians 13:5-6

"This is my command: Love each other." - John 15:17

Your sister,
Brettin White

Knock Knock! Who's There?

KNOCK KNOCK!

WHO’S THERE?

No joke. Somebody’s always knocking, ringing the doorbell, calling, texting, emailing... Someone wants something. When I wrestle with “Let Me In” vs “Leave Me Alone,” LMA usually initials the high score. I suspect that the era in which I let everyone in may have helped form my soul’s current enclave.

If you’re wondering how I can have over 500 facebook friends and still have isolation issues… There are too many anomalies to number in my life. I’m a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside and enigma who constantly reapplies lip gloss. I am an extravert and an introvert. I am conservative and liberal. I am naughty and nice. I am Elphaba and Glinda.

Everyone keeps others at arm’s length to some extent. It’s healthy to have boundaries. Letting people out may be more of an issue for some of you! Jesus knew the value of retreating from the world to be with the Father. But maybe a look at my tendency to set up camp there can help us all strike a better balance.

Isolation is no longer reserved for monks, hermits or those in solitary confinement. It’s often shrouded by busyness, even the constant activity of ministry. The size of your family, your congregation or your facebook friends list is no indication of whether or not your soul is isolated.

I’m filthy rich when it comes to having several deep and abiding spiritual friendships in my life. I’d elaborate, but it might lead you to envy! I’ll just say I’m blessed beyond. My battle is to become more engaged in relationships that are right in front of me instead of continuing to lean on my tried and true to the exclusion of others.

The price I’ve paid: Stagnation looms. My local community, my dating life and my spiritual benevolence are all lacking because of constant retreat into my small fortress.

In examining why, I come closer to the core. Let’s count the reasons we can justify…

Wounded in the past always ranks big. Then there’s fear. Fear of being judged, embarrassed, humiliated, rejected… Or fear of being revealed: I’m boring, I’m pathetic, I’m a disappointment, I’m inadequate, I’m not smart, I’m faking it, I’m a hoarder, I’m ashamed, I’m difficult, I’m selfish, My marriage is on life support, I’m not a good mother, I cannot handle life’s pressures, I’m too stunted, stuck, sad…. The bricks of legitimate woes mingled with the indistinguishable bricks of perceived woes build the impenetrable wall.

So we carefully construct how we present ourselves by what we show and what we withhold, fiercely guarding our inner insecurities. Shane Claiborne has remarked that we choose our own longings, addictions, emptiness… over community and grace and love. And we are left “ill with want” in the words of the Avett Brothers. We become skilled at escaping, avoiding, posing. And our sin lies in rejecting reality and daring to impose a world of our own making, leading to a deeper retreat into self.

Unfortunately, God hasn’t been exempt from my craziness. Our relationship mirrors my ways with people: some truly great ‘highs’, nervousness that things are about to get messy followed by cordial neglect.

The remedy lies in this primary relationship. I can’t live the one another passages without The One. It’s in the comfort of His love and grace that I’m more willing to allow others across my threshold. Life as the bride of Christ cannot function as a gated community.

In 1981 blind country music artist Terri Gibbs asked, “Somebody’s knockin’. Should I let ‘em in?”

Who is it? Could be a new BFF. Could be a self-serving individual who will abuse your trust and wound you. Could be Jesus. Or in Terri’s case, could be the devil wearing blue jeans. Don’t do it, Terri! It’s Christian gambling, and you have to risk big to win big.

“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.” – Revelation 3:20 NLT


- Angie Burns